LDL, chylomicrons, HDL, and atherosclerosis: A lazy Sunday theory

Notes:
  - This put up is a joke, admittedly a weird one, which is why it is labeled “humor” and is filed under “Abstract humor”.
  - I apologize for this spoiler. Some individuals probably like humor posts much better if they do not know what they are in progress, but numerous other people might think that looking through a put up like this is a squander of their time. If you are in the latter category, move on to yet another publish! If not, here it goes …

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Nowadays I was paying some time under the solar, in a single of the year’s 364 sunny days in Laredo, Texas. The objective was to see if I could acquire a exact depend of the variety of superior glycation endproducts (a.k.a. AGEs) that would form as my skin was exposed to the sun’s damaging rays.

Then I study a post by Peter at Hyperlipid, and inspiration consumed me. A new principle was born with regards to the interaction of LDL, chylomicrons, HDL, and atherosclerosis. By the way, Peter is a body fat genius, by which I suggest a genius relating to all unwanted fat concerns – who happens to be slim.

A essential observation types the primary pillar on which this new concept solidly rests:

The endothelium gaps, which let atherogenic particles enter into the forbidden area and do their injury, are around 25 nanometers in diameter. And what is the typical dimensions of LDL particles? You guessed it, 25 nanometers in diameter! And guess what far more, really a handful of of the chylomicrons, an additional team of particles that would elicit instant revulsion in any normal human becoming, are even more compact than 25 nanometers in diameter these atherogenic pests!

So here is the concept, in a nutshell. A five hundred-webpage ebook will plainly be required to talk about it in far more depth.

The Satan produced LDL particles to eliminate us all. But LDL particles ended up not these kinds of effective killers, simply because the Satan, attempting to pack as a lot killer cholesterol into them, ended up making them way too big! At 25 nanometers in diameter, on common, they fundamentally had to squeeze their way into the forbidden region.

Because LDL particles had been not carrying out a good enough job, the Devil also designed chylomicrons, and people chaotic pests come in all sizes. In fact, it is properly known that the term chylomicron has a Greek origin: chylo = killer, micron = particle (Deth & Disis, 1999 complete reference at the stop of this post).

And, useless to say, LDL particles and chylomicrons are fat particles that make the blood kind of flavor and odor like butter, a toxic compound often fed to laboratory rats and known for its effective carcinogenic homes amongst all residing creatures except descendants of Vlad the Impaler. The latter has extended been rumored to have been 1 of the Devil's greatest buddies, so no shock there.

Michael the Archangel, who dislikes the Satan, and usually takes a hands-on approach to working with these he dislikes, the Devil in distinct, gave us HDL particles. If you have any doubts about Michael’s hands-on technique, verify the image underneath (from: Wikipedia), which plainly displays what Michael experienced presently completed to the Devil. And that was over a relatively slight disagreement.

And really do not consider about striving to discredit this theory by asking why HDL particles are so tiny compared with LDL particles and chylomicrons! This is straightforward. For the identical purpose that David was tiny and Goliath large!

But those awful particles, the LDLs and chylomicrons, were not only two massive bullies, they were two against a single. HDL particles had been doing a valiant task at fighting the harm done by the Devil’s two evil particles, but not quite ample to help save everyone from atherosclerosis.

Michael cried foul, and threatened to give the Satan one more lesson. God, viewing this, explained: Michael, no, mankind need to be offered a decision! If men and women want to gorge on the fatty flesh of the beasts they savagely slaughter, allow them sin and encounter the repercussions.

And so it was.

This concept most likely needs some adjustments and refinements based mostly on examination of refereed investigation, particularly reliable investigation supported by drug manufacturers, and session with the most interesting guy in the world. But I am fairly assured it can, soon after changes and refinements, move the check of time.

The only nagging problem is the Original Sin. To the best of my understanding, it was not eating the fatty flesh of beasts. It was consuming a very sweet apple …

Reference:

Deth, R., & Disis, M. (1999, Feb 31). The origins of killer lipids: An evolutionary-theological standpoint. The Lipid Review, 123(seven), 77-sixty six.

Title: LDL, chylomicrons, HDL, and atherosclerosis: A lazy Sunday theory
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